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2007 - More brown ale than champagneWith the 100th victory safely tucked into the Collective kitbag last year, 2007 brought several reminders that cricket is a funny old game, not to mention a great leveller. Despite the depressing surface appearance, I could (and will) argue that {SteveMcClarenMode} there are a lot of positives to take away from this season provided we work hard and show plenty of character on the training ground {\SteveMcClarenMode}. So: the season kicked off with the traditional opportunity to drink to excess in Oxfordshire - an opportunity which the Collective were not slow to exploit. The cabaret in Witney market square at 2.30 am on Sunday provided entertainment for those of us with front-facing rooms, not to mention employment for the local constabulary. Less entertaining was the man cleaning the streets at 6.30 am with an industrial vacuum cleaner with its volume set to 11. Amid all this revelry, some cricket took place. Armadillo proved to be opponents of just the right strength, and the 11th-hour move to the Wadham College ground gave us the chance for a couple of pints at the admirable Victoria Arms in Marston beforehand, and a few more afterwards. The Collective declined the option of arriving at the pub by punt, but it was nice to know that we could have done had we wanted to. Despite the incessant rain which had fallen during the preceding week, the pitch was fairly firm and flat, and played decently all day (except for the unplayable nip-backer which took out my leg stump second ball). Batting first under the leadership of Biggsie senior, we looked well set for a good score when Lloyd departed in the 19th over for an excellent 35, with the score at 72-2. Sadly, despite the fact that the rest of the batting order featured five of the Collective's top six run-scorers, the anticipated calypso cricket failed to materialise as we crept up to 117 all out in just 34 of the scheduled 40 overs. Some steady bowling, and a three-wicket burst from PoC, just weren't enough to prevent Armadillo coasting to an easy win. If we'd pushed on to 170-180, this would have been very winnable. Isis were, well, Isis. On a batting pitch so perfect that even I failed to attract an unplayable ball, we were able to make little impression on a series of capable batsmen who did much as they liked in running up 248-4. This isn't quite the largest total we've ever conceded, though chasing the ball around under a mercilessly hot sun, it certainly felt like it, but the fielding remained diligent (if increasingly knackered) throughout. The pain was pretty much shared around among the bowlers, though BAL (making a cameo appearance for the season) was economical, and Keith sneaked a couple of wickets. The Isis bowling was straight enough to ensure that we were never going to get anywhere near the asking rate, though the final total of 139 all out in the 39th over was nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes you just have to admit that the oppo are the better side. What would undoubtedly have been a triumphant rampage through Worcestershire was nipped in the bud by the fact that most of the county, including the bits where we were supposed to be playing, was waist-deep in flood-water. Chronically short of match practice, the various components of the Red machine therefore assembled in Ripon for a second attempt to record a victory in Yorkshire. Ripon boasts many attractions, notably the Unicorn Hotel (excellent breakfasts and friendly staff - other hotels please note: it's not that hard to achieve), the One-Eyed Rat (complete with miniature beer festival handily arranged to coincide with the tour) and a chip shop whose mushy peas were in the Little Master's personal top five - and you can't buy praise like that. A full and frank account of the tour can be yours at no extra cost if you simply click here. On the other hand, if you plough through the rest of this page, you'll get the Executive Summary. Away from the delights of Ripon, the tour was notable for (a) three winnable fixtures, and (b) Phil Jones's attempt to eat the entire daily output of the Whitby haddock fleet. Phil came closer to success, though the cricket had its moments. Seeking revenge for our previous encounter with the Wellington, and fortified by some last-minute reshuffling of the bowling resources, Stuart led a formidable unit onto the well-kept ground at the Retreat with his body-language radiating chemically-enhanced optimism. And not without good cause, as an innings built around Biggs père (65) and Jon Harry (62*) soared to 109-2, collapsed to 119-6, then amazingly staggered on to reach 182-8 in the allotted 40 overs, with Jon flat-batting a stunning 6 over long-on in the final over. Unfortunately the Wellington were not intimidated by the required total, and kept up the run-rate despite the steady loss of wickets (including 3 to Biggs fils), winning by 3 wickets in 37 overs. One of those matches where we just needed one more batsman or bowler to hit some form and the result could have gone the other way. Golden Ball were of similar strength to the Wellington for the most part; its the other part we had trouble with. The wicket was fairly green on top, and the Golden Ball openers treated the first few overs with some circumspection, taking just 14 runs from the first 6, with the robust-looking John Crowe surviving a hard chance to mid-on and a very hard one from a brutal drive to skipper Phil at mid-off. At this point Phil made his first bowling change, bringing on PoC in place of Robin to tighten the screw a little more. Unfortunately Crowe chose this moment to go berserk, thrashing his way to 101 with nine 6s and six 4s, with any number of huge airborne hits dropping between fielders. He reached his 50 in a manner none of us, least of all Paul, are ever likely to forget by taking a couple of steps down the wicket and reverse-sweeping a 6 over extra cover. On getting to three figures, with the score at 147, he nonchalantly tucked his bat under his arm and retired. It will come as cold comfort to Paul, who took the brunt of the punishment, but I don't recall RedBat ever playing against anyone who hit the ball quite so hard, quite so often. With normal service restored, we fielded and bowled well enough to take another 7 wickets for the addition of just 98 more runs by the end of the 40 overs. Three of these fell to Peter in a controlled spell of military medium-pace far-removed from the slingy fast-but-random method we've seen previously. We were never going to get close to the 246 required to win of course, especially with the wicket livening up as the day wore on, but a decent-looking batting lineup were disappointed to get only 124 all out. After the early loss of Harry, Hunt and Jones with only 13 on the board it was always an uphill battle. Matt and Robin each made 29, the former despite several time-outs to ease his gammy knee back into place after over-ambitious singles. Personally, I lost my middle stump first ball to an unplayable daisy-cutter which hit the ground and rolled under the bat. On paper it looks like a thrashing, but if one of the early chances had stuck this was a match we could have won. The final match, against Ripon CC 3rds on a good wicket at Ripon Grammar School, was also a match we could have won, and very nearly did. The bowling was steady all day, and some unexpectedly sprightly fielding kept a youthful Ripon side down to 152-10 from their 35 overs, ending the innings with the 12th man at the wicket practising his forward defensive. In a RedBat XI containing at least four experienced wicketkeepers, the gloves were shared between Steve and Lloyd, with Dave and Chris standing by to give technical advice if required (and possibly if not). With a fast outfield and some cavalier strokemakers high in the order, this looked like a total we could chase. Phil (21), Jon (20) and Dave (25) all played positively and kept the score moving, taking the total to 71-3 in the 18th over when Steve came to the wicket. Cannily starting his innings with two dot balls, Steve applied bat to ball with some vigour, surviving a few dropped chances to take us tantalisingly close to the target. When he was out for 45, seven balls remained for John and Danny to make 13 for victory. This proved just too much, though they scrambled six singles from the seven balls, leaving Ripon with a six-run win. And if you must know, I lost both middle and leg stumps second ball to an unplayable inswinging yorker. Tea was taken post-match at the main Ripon CC ground, watching the 1sts knock off an easy win to further their promotion bid. Amid emotional scenes, beer was drunk, hands were shaken, Steve took possession of the Beard Memorial Trophy for his almost-heroic 45 runs, holding off a collective challenge from the Biggs family (98 runs, six wickets and a catch over the three games), and the hitherto nebulous prospect of overseas touring seemed to solidify into some kind of plan to take the RedBat roadshow to Brittany in 2008. Just think what might have happened if we'd actually won a match. Still Not Statto's Bit:
The season by numbers
2007 Fixture List
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